Shoonyata

not today

2011-09-18T19:09:00.005+05:30

i collect drops of her smile as it froths bubbles and seeps little by precious little through the thin cracks in her voice as she sings in that ancient voice of hers which reminds me of stark naked unforgiving landscape bathed in setting sunlight with rugged mountains gashed by deep ravines which are as dry as the pools of my eyes with the same whirlwind trapped inside and yes, i collect those little drops of smile from the cracks in her song, gently put them drop by tiny drop into my eyes just to calm the dusty dry storms inside

and so I have this huge feeling swelling inside to catch her song in mid-air and catch where the cracks are and put my nails in between those cracks and rip it open with bleeding fingers and let the smiles pour and pour out and to just lie down with my head on her lap and let the smiles flow into the dry pools of my eyes with those dust storms raging inside for centuries and let it all get wet and calm and salty and then there would be some coolness spreading inside and some streams flowing inside and maybe just maybe a few tears too and some things fresh and beautiful will sprout and peep out and maybe that would be a smile as well but i am tired of opening these cracks a million times and letting those trapped smiles out of the songs of strange men and women

and this one, she might not even want the smiles out…out in the open where everyone can see the colors and textures of those smiles and they might touch and smudge them for ever and maybe even rob her of all of them…so i just place my cheek on the cracks of her song and feel the coolness as the smiles drip and thread on my cheek just below my eye and i want to reach out and kiss her and touch her soul somewhere which would also open up the cracks in her song and make those smiles gush out and i can bathe in them and splash them on my dusty face with weathered wrinkles which will then be smooth with the balm but i just don’t

oh, i just don’t kiss her as even without bringing my lips to hers i feel the taste of her on my tongue and how it will slowly move inside me and fill up my mind and my heart and i know it is lovely and nice and warm and fuzzy and soft and it will creep up to inside my eyes from below and slowly well up through the forgotten dried up springs inside them and maybe calm the winds and give me back my tears and sprout some smiles of my own but wtf, i am just not kissing her and not dancing with the long shadows of thoughts and feelings that have started to sway with the music and i just sit there in the stillness of the night alone with her and her song and the half hidden moon and enjoy the fear and the thrill of seeing those cracks with smiles inside again and i just am alive fully at that moment where i am suspended on a thread a million feet above in the dark lovely sky, dangling on it and shutting down my mind and heart and everything else..and just listening to the song as it rips the universe just to get me to open those thin cracks a bit wider

but no, not today

ride, bull, soul

2011-08-22T09:36:00.001+05:30

life is moving
like a bullock cart
the left side bull's right side horn
is broken at the tip

& all horns of both bulls

are painted
blue green yellow and deep orange

the broken horn carries an agarbathi
& the fragrance spreads like
ink on a blotter
& makes a beautifully wierd pattern
in the still air...as the horns slice through it

the minds playfully gets lost in these patterns
suddenly emerging to breathe clear air at times...
soon trying to move back again for comfort...but the patterns play hide and seek

the cart is swaying with the road
& me too
& the mind caresses faraway walls of reason
& swings back

the reigns are loosely held
& the whip has gone to sleep lying down

---the hand can touch it, the mind cant
the mind can move it, the hand cant---

the tails of the bulls
keep the flies away
& swings any way, even when
the flies die trapped in the maze, crowed by the pushy mind

the bulls droppings
are dry before they hit the hot sand
& the heat make the far away palms dance
to a rhythm
which
the water-maids copy with their hips
fragrance from their sweat
pull the mind out
to capture it and safe keep in the maze
for warmth in the night

a lantern is lit
& hung behind
& swing & swing
to join the fire flies
caged flame lives
free flies die

the breeze turns cool
& the birds fly home
a crow alights on bull-2 for a free ride
its dark deep eyes taunting

the minds moves the whip
& the crows' off
its laughter cracking open the dark sky
telling the world that the whip moves

lying on the cloud
& sipping chilled wine
the soul watches
the journey down

spider

2011-07-29T18:02:00.001+05:30

perched over my ear

the spider

gently whispers

sweet nothings

its hairy legs

begin a slow dance

tickling the base

of the neck

the web moves

slowly back and forth

swinging me softly

to sweet surrender

mind shuts down

the body opens

the soul stirs

sprouting more spiders

from every crack

every corner and nook

deep inside

the safe darkness

tonite

2011-07-19T10:55:00.001+05:30

tonite as you sleep in the darkness, if i have to take something away from you, let me take your eyes…let me scoop them out with my nails and wipe them clean on my jeans of the blood and stuff that they still ooze..let me then kiss them dry softly and look at them long and tender holding them in the cup of my palms…let me dive deep into them and taste your little thoughts which lie trapped without ever coming out…gently, with the tip of my tongue so that they don’t wake up and come alive all of a sudden…let them sleep…unknown to the world, in the deep pool of darkness in the eyes…let me turn those thoughts around and separate them one by one…with a bit of me that is wet and dissolves the thick glue that binds them together…then let me ever so slowly dry them with my breath…caressing them gently as they slowly wake up…untangled and whole…and start that dance in the deep dark pools within the eyes…let me waltz with each one, by one…let me hold then close to my body…their nakedness fresh and pulsating in rhythm with my heart beat…let me swirl in the pool with them…round and round and round inside the eyes..till there is sparkle and there is fire that smolder and there is the beginning of warmth…let me then leave them to dance on and on, and slowly climb out..out of the eyes that now light up everything around..and still holding them gently in my palm, let me open your eyelids and place them back…let me kiss you on those very eyes…let my tongue glue them firm in the sockets…and then again, let me let you sleep…the sparkle and the warmth from the eyes spreading to all nooks and corners inside your body…let me see the fine strands of hair around your navel shiver as the warmth spread…let me, gently tiptoe out of your room…let me let you wake up to the lovely solitude in the warmth of darkness…glowing with the light from your eyes…

monsoon night

2011-06-17T11:40:00.003+05:30

let me wrap myself around the empty space where you were before, just where you sat with your legs folded under you on the bed…molding my body around those contours that still throb with the warmth of your presence…let me, before the moist monsoon breeze steals that warmth with light kisses as it tip-toes around in rhythm with the raindrops drumming on the roof…let me gather those fragments of thoughts you couldn’t pack and take along with you before you left…those which shiver silently in the darkness in the loneliness left by you…let me, before they cling on to the streaks of moonlight and slither up and out through the window…and let me lie still and watch your smile as it flutter around from one precious moment to another that had bloomed at our touch…let me catch it in mid flight with cupped palms and kiss its wings…wings which sparkle with the screaming greenpurpleyellow that we painted them with…let me lie in that deep darkness and watch the twinkle in your eyes move about the room like fireflies skating on frozen silence…let me slowly peel off the layer of tiredness that crept on me through your fingertips and covered my body…let me hold you even more tight, wrapped around the space where you were, before you seep out ever so slowly, into this monsoon night

time flies

2011-04-07T20:50:00.003+05:30

time flies

buzz around

the rotting clock

little beggars

fight to mount

the lame horse

tortoise drags

the decaying sound

over the sand dunes

a smile leaks

from the wound

painted on your face

licking it off slowly

i stick a fresh band-aid

healing the joy inside

time

flies

monsoon afternoon-2

2011-03-22T21:14:00.004+05:30

small droplets

of old memories

rain softly

smell of fresh pain

rides the breeze

spread slowly

your presence

like monsoon clouds

loom dark and heavy

i escape indoors

wrapping safe solitude

tight and warm around me

pottery

2011-03-04T14:39:00.002+05:30

rooted in the same space, the tongue dances…molding pretty words out of the messy muddy clay in my mind… words that are wet and sticky…words that promise to hold very many, very much…even without saying anything…words which then turn and turn on the wheel spun by your thoughts to shapes that you want to create…which you gather ever so tenderly…and gently place inside you where the fire is lit and the oven is hot…firing them to your perfection…nice smooth strong defined…waiting and waiting again for my wet tongue to reach out slowly…so slowly not to touch the breeze, but just the hues of your yearning spread all over your nakedness that you bare bit by bit…for me to touch taste the pain little by little…and smear paint smudge all that is inside…with bold wild licks making those colors scream so loudly… as they get burnt into the words in the heat inside you…and wait and wait for the fire to die and the oven to cool…so that we can take out those pieces that we created without our fingers getting burned and smile together marveling what we see. without words. in silence.

silence.pregnant

2011-02-18T21:08:00.003+05:30

despite watching the cycle, despite non-penetration, despite the condom, despite the diaphragm, despite the morning after pill; the silence is pregnant. very. silence is always silent, but only at times pregnant. pregnant as in having a life forming inside. at the moment. as you watch. as you feel. as you shift uncomfortably with the knowledge. a life is forming inside. not just life, but a form which contains the life as well. which will have a full body soon. it will be born. yes, it will be born. soon enough. and it will resemble the father. maybe the mother. maybe someone’s grand father. or granmother. so the silence is pregnant. the words are never. pregnant. words are always empty. no life forming inside. simple. hollow. zilch. but that is wishful. now we have a silence. that is pregnant. it is growing. little fat tummy. soon you can see the form on the screen. feel the beat of the heart. feel the kick on the inside of the tummy. of the silence. which is pregnant. very. truly. now. shit. eat green papayas. no. silence is serene. silence is divine. pregnancy is divine. it is non-penetrative. silence is virgin. pregnant silence hangs. like in mid air. it hangs. and hangs. no one touches. all serene. all praying. let it not fall. let it not rupture. let the form inside not be born. yes. not be born. whythefuck should it. it was not to be. no need. silence. hangs. pregnant silence hangs. in collective silence. just by the rope. round its neck. slowly swinging. slowly. finally. slowly. it stops swinging. yes. dozens of eyes moving leftrightleft suddenly stops. yes. sure. they stop. it stops. silence. pregnant silence. now dead. really. and truly dead. and a smile is born. no. many. smiles are born. Whew!

checking

2011-02-12T10:04:00.000+05:30

problem with blog, checking up if everything is working

magician

2011-01-31T11:35:00.003+05:30

magician picks one

lemming from the pack

throws it way, way back

lemming sails a while

rides the breeze

kisses the clouds with ease

end of that bit of time

it comes crashing down

leg crushed head split skin torn

runs again rushing

towards certain salvation

sad for the f-ed up magician

waiting room

2011-01-25T13:03:00.004+05:30

stale smell of chloroform

slither hurriedly into the nostril

chased by different forms of fear

hatching out of thin shells

.
sweaty palms make abstract art

on crumpled reports, frayed files

on which stick random thoughts

faded dreams some little lies

.
multiple projections scream

alive, livid on the wall

re-wind re-write re-shoot

re-play another dream

.
time swings slowly

each wait their turn

as her long fingers dip deep

picking the next number from the urn

tarantula

2011-01-17T10:57:00.001+05:30

tarantulas are spiritual.very.they have transcended the routine mundane. they swing. they rock. they make love. and then they eat you up. yummmmm. just like that. just so coz you are good in bed. and you taste yum. and well, she is hungry after good sex. always. so i stroke this pet T that i have. gently as she swings ever so softly in her web. the one that she wove between our minds and the pasts and those stubs of insanity that we hold so deep so dear so hidden. within us. so i pet this T that i love. who has suddenly popped up again and connected another strand of the web to my mind. it tickles and she moves gently. crawling sensuously over the crevices on my mind. arousing that restlessness. that little treasured insanity. and as my eyes lock her wide wide ones, that look of absolute innocence. insane innocence. and i stroke. long fluid skin-ever-so-gently-on-skin strokes. just to discover her again. to map her in my mind. not like a picture. but. like a dance. like the water that rushes between rocks after rain. and to reach the spots that i havent reached earlier. when ever i have touched her. with the long fingers of my mind. unbraiding the braided hair that only i can see. with the nails of my thoughts. rolling the balm squeezed from our words in my palm. massaging it gently on her back as she swings on the web. as she crawls on my mind. as she trickles the restlessness alive. and the clock ticks on. and she says. it's time to spread out the bed.

dream?

2010-12-15T09:05:00.003+05:30

fluttering thin silk curtains layered and layered till eternity swirling and dancing changing colors and making moving patterns as it traps the dew drops in the moonlight which seeps through the gaps in the dark dark clouds and the intermittent rain as i sit silent i sit alone i sit on that single chair with miles and miles of thick trees and shrubs and green and light green and more dark green all so alive and silent and intensely calm as i sit for ages on the cold rough stone chair and watch the sky spilt into pieces by silent lightning all over the chair touching wrapping my whole naked body and my feet so rooted in the fresh dampness of grassy earth and there is no one and nobody and no being other than the breeze and the trees and thoughts from some far away land which softly touch the mind like the dew on the silk and i sit and i sit and sit and i smile and the lightnings pause to bow to the glow that light up softly gently through the silk all the way to the other world

.period.

2010-11-08T11:49:00.001+05:30

your smile still hangs in mid air….suspended without hooks, strings on nails and the like…long after you seeped out through the little gaps and holes I left in between the piled up words and stacked songs and sticky touches and webby stories….all of which came up bit by bit by bit…without you or even me knowing…or maybe it is without us seeing, but knowing, but not seeing…till all these towered above us shutting out everything else and making us swim in their shadows and breathe in their smell and be touched by their sweat which we rubbed gently on each other to cover the naked parts of us that glowed as we talked and understood and touched and nibbled to undress each other of everything that we wore…inside and outside…till our world grew so large with just the two of us and that outside got smaller and smaller and finally got stuffed in a full stop. period. then you just seeped through the hole and slipped out. into the full stop. still your smile hangs in here. without hooks, strings on nails and the like. you gone. seeped out. naked. without the smile. into the full stop. period.

to she who.......

2010-09-01T09:42:00.001+05:30

hey she who hasn’t escaped, I touch what you said. I feel it with my fingertips, I scoop the words in my palm and let it slip thru my fingers…slowly. they fall on the dark cold granite floor…like a bunch of tiny tiny steel balls….they scatter, they bounce, they sing, they dance, they paint the air with the screams stolen from the nightmares that you had wrapped around tighter and tighter around you for comfort. nightmares that saved you for a little wee bit longer from opening your eyes to yet another plastic and paint and synthetic and wtf, yet another day…with the only lingering connection with love is the dried wet patch on the bedsheet marking the spot of the act like a tombstone…it even smells of death of some dreams and if you have the courage to put your face on it you could hear the skeletons rattle in the coffin which you had built so nicely…where you hide those little toys and dolls you play with, those little bits of ribbon and pieces of broken bangles of every color of the rainbow and those little crayons with which you write those words which glow with stark darkness which gets me to fly into them and get so brunt ….and give out a stink of my flesh.. for you to sniff and sniff and slowly follow as it leads you to this place where you can come…where the mind can swing on the noose and dance and the body can shed its masks and come alive to some cool rain drops and some gentle touch and run with some wolves and dance in the wilderness to some strange music and draw more patterns in the sand telling untold stories and unsung poems …stories and poems which will be sung and sung aloud by many who travel the wild path around fires and after love and as tired sleep creeps on their minds…and they will thank you, for your escape gave them meaning. meaning To live. To love. To escape.

smog

2010-06-18T10:25:00.005+05:30

smog

thick n sticky

like thoughts

in the mind

had leaked

through

ears, nose

blinking eyes

yawning mouth

just

to let the world

know

what

really happens

inside

2 min 34 sec

for sunrise

an evening walk

2010-05-26T11:52:00.001+05:30

roaches walking on stilts
plucking ripe orange eyes
half-eaten by bats
flying wearing darkglasses
.
little baby rabbits
burrow out pink fingers
by the glow of fireflies
trapped in glass bottles
.
the snake is at the bar
downing jack-on-the-rocks
bidding for the mermaid in the pool
to take home for the night
.
I walk swinging
Your smile in the bottle
looking around, looking under
ripping off bellies, digging out graves
for those bits and pieces
.
of mine
to sew on
to sew together
.
so that one day I can
eat with the rabbits and the bats
drink with the snake
and take the mermaid home
just for one night

one more smile

2010-05-07T15:58:00.001+05:30

Your smile creeps from the words on the phone screen dangles for a moment on my finger, catches breath and then snakes up my hand tickling as it darts inside my sleeve up my shoulder, pause to nibble my ear-lobe and then treks up my eyebrow and then strips fully naked, dives into the still-dead-pool in my eye, creating lovely ripples that light up all that is inside and outside. One more smile pl. just for the other eye

muse to muse

2010-04-25T09:33:00.002+05:30

i wl be your muse
if only you wd be my witch
suck out my soul and spit it
into the cauldron and stir it
with your juice to spice it
the fire in your eyes to cook it
.
sip it and kiss feed me with it
lip to lip
kiss to kiss
muse to muse
.
wait for it to spread inside
you and me and us
and words to erupt
that wl scald the world

and scar it

.
for ever

after

long day, young night

2010-04-17T08:46:00.001+05:30

long day
young night
phantoms rise
on the checker board
.
finger tips move
tracing the path
a few killed
a few born
.
some pawned
some taken
none given
.
veils drop
shadows split
spirits merge
.
mind hangs
upside down
blind as a bat
.
no moves left
in the graveyard
the raven takes wings
in search of a moon
.
the bat still hangs
upside down
from her beak
.

enough of these words

2010-04-11T21:16:00.001+05:30

lets
bury the words
in the womb
long before they are born
.
and learn what they
struggle to say
.
just by
smell touch taste
of every nook, corner
and crevice
.
skin
on bare skin

.therefore.i.am.

2010-03-30T20:48:00.002+05:30

.therefore.i.am.
.6X6.space.expands.
.sometimes.
.full.of.green.allover.
.thick.green.asin.you.know.
.blink.
.pink.and.blue.
.lights.flicker.
.6X8.8X9.100X300.space.explodes
.geometrically.
.never.circle.
.never.sperical.
.square.rectangle.
.no.triangle.
.sharp.ponts.
.hurt.poke.
.6X6.again.mostly.
.6X6X6.now.
.laughter.
.one.6.breaks.
.black.light.streams.
.in.green.air.
.laughter.
.take.store.harvest.
.under.ground.6X6.
.in.tins.tight.
.blue.and.pink.
.lights.
.flicker.
.6X6…X6.again.blocks.
.sky.gone.black.light.gone.
.cry.trapped.
.in.
.tower.cube.on.cube.
.no.think.no.
.just.feel.
.just.write.
6X6X6.36X36X36.1296X1296X1296
.BLINK.
.spoooooooosssshhhhhhh.
.0X0X0.

.therefore.

.i.

.am.

so said the woman---7

2010-03-22T07:47:00.001+05:30

baiting your thoughts
with my words
riding it
by its tail
as it gallops
.
i reach
the edge
of your mind
.
as it prowls
untamed by the warmth
of the grip of my thighs
reigned a bit by
my hand on the tail
.
what now
what next
?

stillness moves

2010-03-09T08:37:00.000+05:30

the stillness moves
simmering bubbling frothing
in the eye
of the hurricane
.
the stillness moves
red hot and cold blue
untouched unmoved unattached
in the eye
of the hurricane
.
stillness moves
bursting spraying spreading
random thoughts feelings
.
sometimes scalding
sometimes freezing
.
never soothing
.
the eye
of the hurricane
.

haikus?

2010-02-22T21:33:00.001+05:30

garland of lilies lie
withering and heavy on your bosom-
dry taste of summer breeze
.
little spider stalks
gingerly on its own web-
time seeps through unnoticed
.
breeze blows dry dead lilies
black strands of broken web unstuck-
time moves riding your sigh

you.now

2010-02-17T22:36:00.003+05:30

in the middle of that dark misty night, when all the lights went out, the moon was swallowed by the clouds, the stars blinked back their twinkle in fear, the wind tip toed touching the bare body with cold fingers, sitting at the door of that small room on the roof of that old hilltop house with cracked walls and cobwebed ceilings , as the glow of the cigerette tip died burning the fingers, the black cat who came in thru the back window was not seen, not heard but felt. felt like its soul burrowed a tunnel thru the mist and thru some hole in the body and reached deep inside and grabbed something there and sucked all debris out and connected and cleaned up the tube for us the me and the cat to connect, as we were of one tribe. it is so, that i feel you. now.

just some four letter words

2010-02-08T12:29:00.001+05:30

hard
kiss
dark
loud
eyes
yell
grab
tear
fcuk
soul
mind
ooze
drip
come

done

to she on the orange chair

2010-01-13T21:46:00.001+05:30

boredom hung listless matted tangled
heap of black long hair
hung all around from the head
as she sat on the orange plastic chair
.
the pain glows at the tip
as she draws life deep
plain blueish wisp
slowly drift and fade
damp twigs of thoughts
smolder in dying fire
.
come sweetheart
jump into the street
help paint the road
splattering abstract red
.
i wl catch your smile
mid air before it breaks
pour it into the empty jack bottle
and walk swinging it
in the middle of the night
lighting up the life
in that very street

random

2010-01-05T14:56:00.004+05:30

mind keep chewing old thoughts, random memories..turning the essence like juice savored slowly swirled around the tongue…some fragments stay stuck in crevices between teeth…lips smile at the taste of the memory…living in a tiny body perched on a tiny planet rotating/revolving in a set path in a universe that is moving in a hurry somewhere at breakneck speed….the mind gets disoriented…too many things flash by through the window to the eternal space….even though there is stillness around…..we live stacked upon each other and feelings and thoughts struggle in the crowd to breathe, suddenly there comes a break as when the train rushes suddenly through a country side…we breathe fresh air….like caressing strands of old music drifting aimlessly with the breeze, like an unanticipated unadulterated kiss in the middle of a mundane-any-other-day, like the fleeting smile on the lips of a sleeping puppy ...the stink becomes just a memory for a few seconds….and eyes begin to sparkle looking ahead…making soft dreams out of all that is left and all that is gathered new.

new era dawns

2009-12-23T09:56:00.002+05:30

eyes dark and still

dead pool of icy ink

spreading chill

as you give me head

sucking away the stink

of love care and all that shit

the waves the waves

hit you in the gut

purple lobsters pop out

of thawing artic ice

only roaches in the mind

hairy feet tickle razor’s edge

when flipped they row

row row thick air

oh, I’m moving

trailing fluorescent stink

upside down and clawing air

a new era dawns

you

2009-11-04T17:14:00.004+05:30

fresh from the bath

lingering freshness of nakedness

yet to be shed

the mind searches the cupboard

crumpled worn-out faded

sighing with soft musty smell

you lie hidden behind

the crisp the new the colorful

rummaging fingertips

pause feel linger

smoothen the creases

in fleeting moments remember

all that there was

all that there is

some undressed off the skin

some burnt into it

the nest

2009-10-16T16:37:00.003+05:30

drifting strands of music
rustles the grass
in green meadows painted in the sky
.
ruffling my feathers as I gather

twigs of your thoughts
one after another after another
.
dry, dusty and brittle
.
softening them
with taste of our wetness
lingering in my beak
.
weaving a nest
in one nook of
the old sacred tree
.
where our silences
pause to listen
to dreams making love

a night, a drive and death

2009-09-25T10:31:00.000+05:30

dark wind
sings as it dances
.
rooted in the sand
the lonely tree joins
.
shrubs whirl past
moving in reverse
limbs split to strands
by cold cutting wind
.
death licks the bugs
off the windscreen for starters
its breath frosting the glass
cutting off the road
.
reason panics
trapped inside
opens the window
takes flight
.
laughter shakes the car
upside down
the main course served
with warm sticky sauce
.
full, death explodes
embedding bits and pieces
deep inside the rest there
and a few away elsewhere
.

dreams

2009-09-12T11:31:00.001+05:30

the dreams
are back
.
the cat
the raven
the snake
.
One ate
the Other’s cry
lest it pierce
the Third’s eye
.
but the Third’s eyes bore
twin holes in One
bleeding out the cry
taunting it to try
.
One wrapped the oozing cry
In its voice and went mute
the Other opened its beak
to swallow the echoes growling at the peaks
.
the Third uncoiled the time
blurring this piece of space
.
eyes flipped inside out
back
to the sets
of real illusion

monsoon afternoon

2009-09-06T09:47:00.003+05:30

cubes of silence

fresh from the ice tray

slowly melt

on the bare back

of your whispers

half asleep

the fingers of my thoughts

trace the wet trail

teasing the skin

life pauses

listning to music

of aftternoon rain

your bedside clock beeps

struggling to push

the heavy time along

controlled insanity

2009-08-31T09:50:00.002+05:30

deep purple patches
wearing goofy grins
skateboard wild n’ blind
up and down the dancing smile
.
strange winds blow away
crutches on amputed reason
blurring everything black and white
to smudging shades of colorful grey
.
little glowing dots
step out of dark nooks
lighting up uncurling tentacles
tickling insanity to life
.
come, piggyback ,
free fall with me
.
no chutes
no gliders
no net
.
smash down and paint
the dark gloomy sky
with splattering lovely red

.
or maybe

.
splash into the blue green
puddle of dreams
forever wet
.
what say
you

so said the woman---6

2009-08-17T11:35:00.003+05:30

i want to make
a baby with you
.
allow our thoughts
to shed what they wear
hold hands and slowly slither
down and around
that untroden trail
many a time we saw
we sniffed and stood
panting
right at the edge
peering over the hedge
.
i want to make
a baby with you
.
allow our minds
to wander free
where hands wont touch
and the lips wont kiss
to those little dark corners
where the toungues long
to make music
to all those moves
shackled and buried deep
where music is deaf
and waltz is lame
.
i want to make
a baby with you
.
with
.
the colorful hues in your eyes
the fountain that bursts at my finger tips
those little sharp edges
scraped off your mind
and the warm sticky clay
spinning on the wheel inside me
where my hands dont reach

.
until

.
the tips of our hair tickles
and unfolds the skin
and the wiff of our breath
follows the tongue
making
rainbows explode
lighting the universe
.
i want to make
a baby with you

an old rhythm

2009-07-15T11:13:00.004+05:30

an old rhythm plays, on the edge of the mind

.
the thoughts heaped up …like lots and lots of rusty old keys…tied up for long in the old cloth bag with musty smell of pickled monsoons tightly tied up with the frayed double knotted string

.
an old rhythm plays on the edge of the mind

.
the keys are heavy, rusty, some sticky, some smooth, some rough…they learn to breathe again as your whispers seep through the string and the folds and the fabric….bring in the scent of the dance and music from so far away…reaching inside riding the waves set off as you move your body to the sensuous beat

.
an old rhythm plays, on the edge of the mind

.
the fingers fumble at the knot, pretend to play with the breeze and return opening the belly button, releasing the trapped scent of damp forests firing up the blood hounds chasing the playful little rabbit hidden deep in the burrow

.
an old rhythm plays, on the edge of the mind

.
and spreads slowly swirling about from the far dark edges to the toe and all other tips and pores…ready to dissolve the layers of dried onion skins and almost touch the core

.
an old rhythm plays, on the edge of the mind

.
the keys clamor loud as the heart rolls in the empty tin box….and slowly fall silent as the music fades..falling in a heap again in the old old old bag

.
but the old rhythms plays on, on the edge and beyond the mind

my mind, now

2009-04-28T15:35:00.002+05:30

green fresh leaves
flavoring the sunlight
still some dried deadwood
dangling limp
chop chop chop

silence just smiles

2009-03-25T17:29:00.002+05:30

dried silence like dead animal hide
cake of baked blood thick inside
cloaking the being still long after
the undress the caress and the kiss
.
smell of freshly squeezed honey
readies its long manicured fingers
to dig in and touch the sprout to life
but fumbles, fails, retreats
.
trapped inside, the beast roars
the silence smiles with silence
the blood, oozes in the warmth
the sprout screams in the darkness
stumbling about inside the seed

nite,pub,old friends

2009-02-18T11:52:00.000+05:30

memories
crabwalk
tickling
sleepy
time-dunes
deep
.
green
florescent
fizz
frothing
thoughts
bubbling
laughter
.
rocking
floating
debris
clearing
sticky
muck
.
trapping
broken
moon
for
keeps

2008/9

2008-12-30T19:45:00.000+05:30

between one
on
this side
and another
on
the other side
.
blink
.
just
a
blink

so said the woman---5

2008-12-16T15:42:00.001+05:30

pain dissolves
like virgin dew
in sunrise
with your tender touch
.
the wandering breeze
is trapped in a basket
of strands of joy & guilt
interlocked and woven tight
.
inhibitions drop
like early autumn leaves
still a bit fleshy
patchy with colours
.
mind confused
body denied
soul hungry

.
why ?
why not?

sing

2008-12-06T10:54:00.000+05:30

sing my mocking bird
sing till you die
clenching your eyes shut
just so you cant see
.
the songs lie trapped
in the labyrinth of your mind
its echos basting holes
even before the shrapnel found the skull
.
sing my mocking bird
sing as you lie
all is well and good

the world is the way it should

right now

2008-12-01T09:45:00.001+05:30

like
the running spider
trapped by
a piece of cloth
soaked in kerosene
thrown over it

.
the mind is numb
waiting for the
burning matchstick
to strike

Blog 2nd Anniversary---repeat of 1st post

2008-11-23T09:42:00.002+05:30

Life is a breeze and I am trying to grab the scent as it blows…….as one would grab the remnants of a dream before it fades, as one would linger on the look which races the heart beat , as one would etch the memory of the towering mountains before leaving the wilderness……scent comes in wisps…soft as a baby's touch and as pure as its smile…it is fleeting as the smile which touches the eyes, as haunting as the tune long forgotten…the scent of virgin rain on mud, the scent of mist rolling on the lake, the scent of sweat after love, the scent of invocation after the prayer, the scent of happiness as life blows…like a breeze......

=============================================================

life continue to be a breeze......new scents, new voices, new feelings come along with it....some touch and move on riding the breeze....some linger...for a while, or forever.........

by the riverside

2008-11-08T22:31:00.003+05:30

the crow came again
astride the silent cat
its shadow chilling the pain
of thoughts strung on my bait
.
as I fished in the river from nowhere
holding the mind on its end
still as the heart of the whore
dying alive buried in the sand
.
the cat drops a penny down the hole
dug by pimping crab strangling a song in its claw
the crow climbs and pecks the erect pole
as little mermaids with sewed-up lips take a bow
.
the whore sighs and mountains shift
the sand buries the penny deep
cat claws nail the thoughts to a cross for old theft
the crow pecks out the eyes which see and weep
.
the river, it still flows from nowhere
and i still fish with my rod, my bait
sometimes it is a snake or a dove who come here
and it just doesn’t seem to matter

.
why who when or what

diwali

2008-10-31T10:05:00.001+05:30

gunshots
and bombs
explode
.
lighting up
the sky
blowing out
lights
.
in
innocent eyes
.
burnt smell
of fireworks
linger
.
mixing
with that of
burnt flesh
drying blood
rotting minds
.
can we
smash the diya

.
instead
touch a life
light a smile
just once
each day
?

no !

2008-10-23T09:32:00.002+05:30

it is not

that

you are

a virgin

your mouth tastes

roasted tobacco

you think

Ayn Rand

is a saint

it is

just that

may be

just

may be

you are

too young

i am

too old

and

scared stiff

she, the mist and a breeze

2008-10-15T10:51:00.004+05:30

soft touch
ruffling hair

drawing patters

on bare skin

.
like a
gentle breeze
sliding thru
gaps

.
in the

rolling mist

which

.
wraps
random thoughts
hides
wild stirrings
buries
them deep and safe

.
away from
the searching touch
of the
wandering breeze

rain----6

2008-10-08T09:47:00.001+05:30

rain
wet
cold
breeze
.
pain
pit
stomach
freeze
.
knowin
yet
shutting
eyes
.
aim
shoot
kill
please
.

you, me & the beast

2008-10-01T10:32:00.002+05:30

trapped

in my body

the beast

seemed tamed

till

bathed

in your sweat

drunk on

the sweet slime

you ooze

it broke

the web

of your wispers

climbed

the waves

of your heat

devoured me

skin bone

flesh & soul

spitting out

the mind

just alive

tell

the tale

so said the woman---4

2008-09-25T10:19:00.002+05:30

you

a strange breeze

never seen

felt

smelt

before

flirting with

my dark tresses

gliding gently

though my

random thoughts

promises of

drenching rain

fantasies of

wild storms

making smiles

bloom

on parched desert

sand

1st poem, on love

2008-09-19T09:19:00.002+05:30

when 12

you taught me

the A,B and C

of love

after Z

and practicals,

killing your love

and with its blood

i wrote

in red

the 1st poem

on love

blog friends & awards

2008-09-14T10:06:00.003+05:30

like the tiny flutter of the wings of a little butterfly somewhere deep in the amazon jungle causes an avalanche in the snowy peaks of Alps.....the faint connect, smile on the lips, glitter in the eye as one reads a blogger's words from far, far away...something fleetingly touches the soul...a window is opened, the world suddenly looks brighter, richer, happier.

Thanks Maze and Peerti for the awards....I am awarding the Rockstar to ra...his writin rocks...check him out: http://iwantedanotherone.blogspot.com/
and the Friendship award toMirandian http://thisandthat-mirandian.blogspot.com/

let the tribe mutiply :)))

street rose

2008-09-09T14:52:00.003+05:30

street rose

.
aroma
of hunger
wafting thru
eyes
dancing on
my restless guilt
.
oozing rashes
painted red
framed with
dried cum
on thin thighs
.
thorns
which pierce
not the skin
but the heart
sheathed
.
in laughter
that shatters
on the windshield
on rolled up glasses

.
keeping me
safe
.
far away
from the
forbidden touch

rain---5

2008-09-04T07:31:00.003+05:30

rain

wet

sticky

cobwebs

cloudy

heavy

thoughts

spiders

dangling

mind

butterfly

trapped

wind

mute

life

death

life

that glance

2008-08-26T11:43:00.002+05:30

the glance
connects
the moment
shatters

.
a thousand
slivers
fly
as thoughts
take wings

.
the heart
dance
yet skip
a beat

.
wrapping
what remains
of the moment
in silence

to treasure

triggered by the post "i am back" on Preeti's blog http://crashcoursecalledlife.blogspot.com/

silences

2008-08-19T13:36:00.004+05:30

even our silences

have become different

mine

blows like a breeze

and eagles glide on it

fleetingly caressing

the mountains

made by yours

its warmth

still not enough

to melt

the icy peaks

reason

stumbles along

laughter sinks slowly

in stagnant feelings

the words touch

your raw wound

and

the wandering kite

is jerked down

when will

the thread

snap

ice maiden

2008-08-05T12:00:00.002+05:30

icy winds

trapped in you

frost

your eyes

words freeze

leaving

the

ruby lips

blood stains

on them

glow

like fire flies

let me

pour my wine

your navel

chill it

a wee bit

before

i sip

thresholds

2008-07-31T11:19:00.002+05:30

thresholds

drawn with toes

on water

etched with nails

on the breeze

fenced with thoughts

in the mind

blur melt and disappear

in the warmth

of your presence

why?

2008-07-23T09:20:00.001+05:30

like a
.
heavy laden cloud
holding back
the rain
lest it
stain the earth
.
the restless ocean
smothering its waves
lest it
shatter the breeze
.
the full moon
hiding its light
lest it
blind
lovers in the night
.
why am I
so
with you
?

to death, my friend

2008-07-20T10:44:00.002+05:30

i can smell
your lack of breath
as flowers wilt
in your path
.
i hear
the emptiness
you cloak with
rustle in my dreams
these nights

.
i can see
your yearning
reach out its tentacles
to wrap
my mind
.
i can touch
your heart's dilemma
as it swings
between what I know
and what you know
.
i can taste
chew & savor
fear
trapped in your chest
.
but why ,

my friend

so said the woman-3

2008-07-15T22:14:00.002+05:30

i feel

the incredible lightness of being

having said

the unsaid

which is now

a feather

being blown about

the jerky movements

of your restless mind

i feel

the incredible lightness of being

having made

that tightness inside

melt

getting you unstuck

from my thoughts

i feel

the incredible lightness of being

having said

what i feel

waiting for you

to pluck it

from no man's land

universe

2008-07-08T21:39:00.002+05:30

vast sky

lone star

black hole

deep hunger

orbits

fission

fusion

birth

rebirth

blink

Incessant raindrops

2008-07-04T14:11:00.003+05:30

incessant rain drops

in my courtyard

falling on memories

with the rhythm

of old melodies

buried skeletons rise

dancing in tottering steps

dragging the spirit away

from the rain

and its wetness

to waltz away the night

locked in the arms of time

while

mind and body

sit and watch

the rain and the dance

from the threshold

how to write?

2008-06-25T10:29:00.002+05:30

how to write
when you fight demons
skunks
and chimps that bite
.
one hand tied at the back
one wielding a sword to hack
.
a foot sinking deep
in whirlpools of time
another tripping on carcass
of dead dragons and men
.
when spirits wail
haunted where they rest
scaring the maidens
who dance in the mist
.
bare backs painted
with blood from the sword
tattoos made
with needle teeth
.
how to write

when you fight

i am, therefore ?

2008-06-10T10:08:00.002+05:30

i am

the thoughts

strandes of sandstorm

scattered across

vast spaces in time

i am

the feelings

tidal waves

trapped and hidden

by the web of moonlight

in the ocean

i am

the image

in the mirror

of your mind

a bit faded here

a bit broken there

a bit kept polished

what could have been

what could yet be

i am

the body

aspiration of

a vain soul

struggling for expression

thru layers of

colours, textures and scent

well

i am...

wtf?

passion fruit

2008-05-24T09:48:00.002+05:30

the dark curly tresses
gently caress my words
waltzing around
to touch your mind
.
moonlight wrap your smile
millions of little broken
peices of shattered glass
find a reason
to glow deep inside
.
long lashes tickle my breath
as i kiss the twin buds to bloom
wafting woman fragrance
get the gentle breeze drunk
.
reason and logic melt
as dark coals are kindled
the snake slithers in the darkness
towards the forbidden fruit
.

so said the woman-2

2008-05-21T07:38:00.000+05:30

let me

swim

in your skin

the trail

of your mind

surfing

the waves

straddle hidden

volcanoes

that erupt

inside me

reach

the womb

of the shadow

of the moon

where

i will sleep

just a little

while

the beast smiles

2008-05-07T22:25:00.000+05:30

the beast smiles

the kitten is eaten

by its mother

as the snake uncoils

in her womb

what is

is devoured

what is to be

lie trapped inside

dropped at death

yet not claimed by birth

time clings for life

on the smile

the beast obliges

the beast smiles

the world shudders

Written on 19th B'day

2008-04-30T09:44:00.000+05:30

19 years ago

in my ma's womb i lay

the darkness suffocating me

its walls seem to say

you are a prisoner

i kicked and i pushed

and struggled in vain

with her each moan of pain

i smiled

i came out at last

covered with bloody waste

but

only the cage is bigger

am still a prisoner

and

the first breath

of life

was a cry

of anguish

echo-ing still

all over

poverty & richness

2008-04-23T10:12:00.000+05:30

poverty

when the layers and layers

i wrap myself around with

rob the richness buried inside

from sharing, expressing

touching the world

outside

richness

when the desolate

barren poverty outside

cant seep inside

but

change to something beautiful

touched by that

faint little glow

deep inside

your words--2

2008-04-15T15:33:00.000+05:30

your words

incessant rain drops

making wet translucent patches

on the veil

glimpses of

beautiful shadows

of hidden silence

waiting for the waltz

rain drops turn midnight mist

as music plays

still wraping the silence

buried deep within

mushroom at a cemetery

2008-04-04T10:38:00.000+05:30

childhood

safely buried

6 feet under

drugs, abuse and sex

some little softness

burnt to ashes

on which dogs roll

around funeral pyres

naked innocence

freshly bathed

left for vultures

on the mute towers

of indefference

sparkling eyes

hold back

hungry hands

reaching for

the spat chewing gum

only

the red flowers

in the hand

wither in shame

so said the woman

2008-03-27T10:41:00.000+05:30

stranger, when we meet

pl remember

you dont know me
any better than I know myself
.
so
.
after we smile at sunsets
share the walk in the rain
bring out the shy side of the moon
tickle each funny bone

when i throw the icecream

in a tantrum at your face

make me lick it off
dont sulk

when I dance on the table top

after two tequilas

with my skirt riding high

flirting with your friend

with Brad Pitt butt

drag me home

and love me

boz my world has (and needs)

a few jagged edges

to keep me alive

as much as
you are you

I would still be
me

doubt

2008-03-19T14:22:00.000+05:30

strands of hair

on your shirt

but no thread of guilt

in your smile

slight smudge of lipstick

on your collar

but no shadow hiding

the twinkle in your eyes

wisp of her smell

on your body

but no trace of tiredness

in your eagerness

vines of doubt

hanging from my mind

but nothing to swing

or tie you up with

happiness

2008-03-07T09:26:00.000+05:30

soft little feather
escapes the thick foliage
dances thru the sieved light
soft strands tickling
.
slowly floats
down the forgotten well
savoring the silence
slicing thick air
.
touching the cold
unseen ripples
spreading thru the deep pool
a bit of spray
.
jumps up
drenching the musty walls
refreshing dampness
sweet smell swells
.
if
no one’s seen this
heard this
felt this
.
did it happen

ever

sculptured time, muddled glance

2008-02-28T14:53:00.000+05:30

time escapes
as the bud blooms
.
the stolen fragrance unwraps
from fleeing time
jumps
clinging to your glance
in mid flight
.
cold and shivering
time falls frozen
.
slivers of it flying
as mind chisels
sculpturing your
timeless eyes
.
fragrance mates the glance
meanwhile
watching virgin bats
lose their sight
flaps the fragrance
to hells gate
.
free at last
the glance seeks mine
hidden somewhere

long time back

last night

2008-02-22T07:17:00.000+05:30

stormy night
hunger howls
a wolf yearning
scalded by moon light
.
the beast prowls
stinky bars
icy winds bite
n’ chew random thoughts
.
a whore screams
locusts descend
cleaning the flesh
off bones of pretty men
.
the snake uncoils
freeing the bound silence
a ransom sought
none paid
.
something killed
something raped
something buried

something freed

uncle Gopi

2008-02-16T10:14:00.000+05:30

death
watlzs away
with him firmly
in her arms
.
music lingers
as thoughts play
on the keyboard
of sweet memories
.
the heavy vacuum
of loss
hangs as dark
as monsoon clouds
.
while his smile
would be a rainbow

lighting up
someplace else
.
as he meets
his friend

long lost

silence

2008-02-11T11:30:00.000+05:30

silence
speeding down
screaming tracks
damp dark tunnels
of restless mind
.
silence
frothing bubbles
trapped under
clear thin ice
of brittle memories
.
silence
on toothpicks
with cheese cubes
with wine

silence
sticky dew drops
on webs of thought
.
silence
hanging on a noose
courting death
.
silence
dead and limp
pickled in spirit
.
silence
that touch
without feel
.
silence
i look in the mirror
find no image
.
silence

at the street garbage bin

2008-02-05T14:08:00.000+05:30

i saw fireflies
dance deep inside
her eyes
.
i heard wolves
growl with hunger
in her little tummy
.
as she tore
a piece of smelly god
salvaged from the bin
.
to feed
the lame dog

first

free mind, caged body

2008-01-28T16:49:00.000+05:30

digital messages
which evaporate
in their own heat
.
lips promising kisses
wetting the passage
to touch the soul
.
alcohol induced
small talk

falters
unable to
carry
the burden
.
flesh
held away
from flesh
.
caged
.
while
minds make love

with gay abandon

alone

2008-01-23T10:54:00.001+05:30

when you meet
discover and love
bits and pieces
of yourself
.
being alone
ceases to be

being lonely

the senses

2008-01-18T10:12:00.000+05:30

can you smell
the empty spaces
that explode
in the mind
?
can you see
the deafening silence
that endlessly echo
deep inside the eyes
?
can you hear
the dance of pain and joy
as they make love
in the silent rain
?
can you touch
the fleeting iceness
as shadows walk
on your grave

can you taste
the sweet addiction
of life’s fixes

chased by the soul

your words

2008-01-10T09:08:00.000+05:30

your smell

lingering in the breeze

long after

you left my bed

your words

wet, warm and sticky

slowly dries

bridging

the clefts in my mind

end of the year

2008-01-04T16:04:00.000+05:30

time
finds its tail
and swallows itself
.
seizing the moment
my shadow grabs me
after the year long chase
.
eye to eye

i ask

now wtf ?

under the street tree

2007-12-28T15:43:00.000+05:30

under the street tree
glitter
frozen bits
of dogs pee
.
as they stick
to her little lips
smiling with
the X-mas dream
.
santa lost his way
and so also the wolf
as trees you know

don’t sprout chimneys

Here lies santa

2007-12-23T12:51:00.000+05:30

dead

here lies
the 1st lie
.
the 1st bribe
putting a price
for being “good”
.
the 1st abdication
by absolute powers
of their accountability
.
the first carrot to conform
first blame on forces beyond
for dead dreams dreamt thru the year

My shrink died

2007-12-18T16:16:00.000+05:30

my shrink died

in the trench

fragments of

his analysis

embedded in my brain

like shrapnel

clawed out with

blunt needles

bleeding nails

dreams of death

This was triggered by an old post by Anki (http://ankinotion.blogspot.com/ ) Check her Sept 07 archive for "Case study 1515 BSC" --- Great writing!

the stage, us and the dance

2007-12-14T09:40:00.000+05:30

we were two

in our own wombs

sitting dormant

like dressed mannequins

no smell of life

from this man and woman

no sound of breath

just the stillness of death

the throbbing of the restless soul

trapped in the hollow stage

insane with waiting for the call

to break out of this spot-lit cage

till the old man's worn out hands

beat the soft slow rhythm

and filtered flavoured strands of light

etching patterns on the frame

oh, we took life tottering steps

like dancers on swan-off legs

steep desire, pain and anger

on edges of sanity

licking sweet danger

dancing for the gods we slay

and the little demons we pray

the nests we break

the tears and joy we fake

the truth is the smell of sweat

of dance, swirling mist and dust

the truth is the old mans hands

the deafening silence of the band

Sharing

2007-12-05T16:14:00.000+05:30

what we shared
warms the feet
with its fur

peacefully
.
while
.
what we did not share
strains to break free

almost breaking

the leash

The menu

2007-11-29T12:20:00.000+05:30

for him :

fried legs of my mind

to bite with his pint

bits of my soul

on tooth picks

for him to nibble

though it makes him sick

peeled whole body

just warmed a bit

moving as he like it

to a slow slow beat

for you:

a lame mind to tickle

before it fully rots

same bits of soul

to taste

before it reach

the bin

smell of my body

to keep

before it dries up

in the sun

The union

2007-11-28T09:44:00.000+05:30

the breeze glides lightly

the wines caress your face

etched on the rocks

thirtysix buds bloom

around and below your navel

and the valley down

my fingertips wisper

sweet nothings

to yesterday's goosepimples

the lips move up and around

tracing the sound of waterfall

trapped in the cave

under your breast

the nip's in the air

and dampness and sweet smell

of earth after the first rain

and its wetness.

and

caged in the mind

the heart flutters

in anticipation of release

1st Anniversary of blog--1st post repeat

2007-11-24T20:09:00.000+05:30

life continues to blow like a breeze after a year....yipppieee!!!!

7 random thoughts on oneself--prats' tag

2007-11-15T16:45:00.001+05:30

one/fun

every thing has a reason

so chill and just have fun

two/true!

loves heights, depths

free fall

but panics in 4ft pool

strange but true

three/free

scared of being owned possesed tamed

scared of owning possessing taming

needs to be

free

four/ loves the stranger

feel suddenly connected

to many an arbit starnger

popping up from nowhere

five/bee hive

mind is a buzz

driving me nuts

thousand and one bees

in a bee hive

six/darkness

loves snakes, waves, creative minds

sensous bodies

stillness of darkness

seven/ hell & heaven

god and devil

are trapped here

kicking the soul to & fro

hell and heaven

Prat (http://emotionalecology.blogspot.com/) tagged me. Pl check her blog...good reading+rules of the tag (taking an easy way out :)

I tag...some of those who touch me as I read:

ra: http://standinginshechem.blogspot.com/

raaji: http://raajii.blogspot.com/

kammommy: http://ooopsmommy.blogspot.com/

anki: http://ankinotion.blogspot.com/

sift: http://sift.wordpress.com/

chrisann: http://walkingcontradiction.blogspot.com/

me and the sea--3

2007-11-14T09:58:00.000+05:30

how
you
sailed thru
.
leaving
flurescent
trail
.
on the still waters
of my
mind
.
once touched
never the same

again

Diwali

2007-11-07T09:28:00.000+05:30

diyas
flame
moths
death
.
dry eyes
damp sky
bursting fire
rainbow blood
.
aroma of hope
ushered in stealthily
fugitive returns home

apologetic of existence

lying bare on the floor

to be touched kissed

hugged and loved

silently waiting

possess?

discard?

love?

kill?